Socks have a tendency to disappear
Especially the new ones—whereabouts unclear
It wasn't your dog and it wasn't your cat
It wasn't the washer—forget all that
You can stop searching, there are no doubts
You have a sock eater in your house
Some say it sleeps behind the dryer
Lives on cotton and elastic fibre
Never takes two, it takes just one
Leaves you puzzled when the deed is done
You can stop searching, there are no doubts
You have a sock eater in your house
Don't let suspicion rule
Your housemates are innocent—don't be a fool
The creature loves domestic strife
It wants you blaming man and wife
Keep calm when one more ankle's bare
That's how it spreads despair
I bought twelve pairs in matching black
It took eleven—left one back
I set up traps, I checked the floor
I heard it breathing by the drawer
You can stop searching, there are no doubts
You have a sock eater in your house
And if one night you hear a sound
A tiny chewing underground
Don't scream, don't run, don't make a fuss
It may already live with us
You can stop searching, there are no doubts
We have a sock eater in our house